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Useful definitions!

I have come across a few people who have no understanding of sarcasm, even when your comments are obviously full of it, so I assume there are likely other words and concepts people may need explained to them as well that they could encounter on this site.

Aussie Kiss
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Greyhound
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

Hand-to-Gland Combat
A vigorous masturbation session.

Beer Coat
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a cruise at 3 in the morning.

Beer Compass
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how to get there, and where you've just come from.

Bone of Contention
A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

Breaking the Seal
Your 1st piss at the bar, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

Budgie's Tongue
or Small Man In A Boat, or Tongue Punchbag. The female erection.

10-Pinter
Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.

2-Bagger
Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with. (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)

BVH
Blue-Veined Hooligan. The 1-eyed skinhead.

Cider Visor
Beer Goggles for the young drinker.

Cliterature
1-handed reading material.

Cock-A-Doodle-
The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in the morning to get to the toilet quick.

Crappucino
The particularly frothy type of that you get when abroad.

Double Bass
A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.

Etch-A-Sketch
Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.

Fizzy Gravy
or Rusty Water. .

Flogging On
Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.

Free the Tadpoles
Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.

Frigmarole
Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

Fu*kShitFu*kShitFu*kShit
The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

Going For a McShit
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bathroom. If challenged by a staff member, our declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.

Hefty Cleft
or Horse's Collar, or Welly Top. Description of a very large vagina.

McSplurry
The type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a week in fast food restaurants.

Millennium Domes
The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually not a damn thing in there worth seeing.

Monkey Bath
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa! Aa!".

Mystery Bus
The bus that arrives at the club on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

Mystery Taxi
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NBR
No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.

Picasso Ass
A woman whose pants are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

Sperm Wail
or Spuphemism. A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.

Starfish Trooper
or Asstronaut. A homosexual.

Beaver Leaver
or Vagina Decliner. A homosexual.

Titanic
A lady who goes down first time out.

Abra-Kebabra
A magic act performed on Saturday night, where fast food vanishes down the performer's throat, and then shortly afterwards, it suddenly reappears on the taxi floor.
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Talking in the third person.

I was just told by someone that all woman hate being spoken to in the third person. In an actual conversation with someone I never use it, but I frequently leave comments to people in the third person to be different from others and to make fun of how trivial and benign most of the comments are. Plus it's quicker to type, conveys exactly what I want to say and gives me a chance to press the '*' key which I otherwise would never use.

Apparently to her, my use of it means I look down on women, hate them and don't care about them. That never would have occured to me since I speak that way to men and women, but I don't want to totally dismiss it. Given I have talked to hundreds of people (if not way more) this way the past couple years this way and only one person has said anything negative about it, I was wondering if she just didn't understand it's a "joke" and the same message is conveyed whether it's in the 3rd person or not OR if it was truly something people take offense to and makes me one of the worse people who ever lived.
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简介

I am a pretty honest and sarcastic person who can be random, goofy and funny. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am a big sports fan. I have Laker season tickets and I go to a lot of Angels and Ducks games as well. My favorite college team is UNC. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have quite a few pets to keep me company. I have: five dogs (a puggle, a rottweiler, a chow, a jack russell terrier and a german shepherd). two giant bunnies (Bunny & Clyde), four guinea pigs (Sunny, Fluffy, Jordan & Tigre), three snakes (king named Stretch, boa named Connie and a python named Duke), two tarantulas (Hairy & Sally), tons of fish (both fresh and saltwater), a tortoise and two turtles, two ferrets (Magic & Sundance), ducks & geese and two echidnas (Knuckles and Tikal). -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Right now I own five motorcycles: two Ducatis (1098S & 749S), a Suzuki (R750),

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